These past 2 weeks have been a nightmare 2 weeks. I missed 2 days due to a doctor’s appointment that I had to fly back to San Antonio for, then 1 day due to jet lag and then the rest of the week and the beginning of this week catching up and taking exams. Because guess what, 1 month in= exam time. So not only am I playing catch up, but I am trying to keep up with scheduled exams, all of this while drugged on Norco and Valium all day long.
So let’s take this a step at a time:
1) my exams (makeup and scheduled) haven’t been too bad thus far, as in A’s and B’. But today I missed my Anatomy practical exam because I had to lug my backpack up the stairs and was a few minutes late. He is letting me make it up next week on Monday but it will be one-on-one and oral. Definitely intimidating. Plus I still have 2 more quizzes this week and am starting to worry about my attendance levels. I try very very hard to get to classes but my lower back pain and medication are working just as hard against me. d
2) my neck is doing much better and the pain is actually manageable there and my scar is looking good. The doctor gave me approval to wear my brace as needed so I mostly just wear it at school or when I am studying a lot.He wants me to wean off my meds.
3) my lower back is killing me so the thought of weaning off the meds is almost unbearable. Also, the side effects from the meds are almost worse than the actual pain. So just trying to manage. It’s hard to believe that there are so many days when it is just impossible to physically get up out of bed because of pain. And no matter how hard I try, I feel like such an inconvenience and like maybe I shouldn’t be here right now.
4) I am trying to keep my head up and stay optimistic. After all, my grades are overall pretty good, but it’s hard to see that sometimes through the pain. So my motto that I am hoping to get me through the day is going to be, if you can’t catch a break, try and catch your breath.
Just breathe. This is when I miss you mom and dad. Just breathe.